So I don't know how this works in life and what it means but I had two remarkable events that seem to be related to each other. Both of them have to do with my car. I know that my style of driving is not what other would consider to be the most safe or considered. And I felt convicted about this. It is one of those things that I have always been aware of. But then I always feel like I am in control over the car. I pay attention very well when I am driving and I feel like I never miss something. But my car, although I am grateful having one here without having to pay anything for it, is really not the best. It is really out of balance and the steering really sucks. But nevertheless I drive with considerable speed. The reason for that is that often in my head I want to be at my destination as soon as possible. A general issue in life that causes problems occasionally. It makes me stressed and feeling like being in a hurry. But the thing is that I picture my destination in my mind and I want to be there right away. All the time and energy needed to bridge the space or time between point A and B feels like a waste.
Now come to think of it, when I was younger I always wanted to have the skill of teleportation. I can remember myself looking at a certain place like halve a mile further and closing my eyes and wishing I was there. To make it even more stupid. I can remember that I was thinking of the passage in the bible where Jesus and his disciples stepped in a boat and instantly reached the other side of the lake. I always thought that if I had enough "faith" whatever that may be would help me to actually acquire this supernatural feature. Until today, I have not.
Apparently this post is not really a case in which I feel stressed or want to reach the destination of having this post finished. As proof I refer to the paragraph described just above and the explanation that I am typing right now. Right now I am more in a mind set that anything works and I am letting "things" (the whole construct of this post) develop in a more organic way. Which means that I kind of know what the outcome is but I don't know how to reach it.
Before returning to the initial point of writing I want to mention that I one of the drawbacks of wanting to be at B while being in the process of reaching there is that it I don't always experience being in transition to the fullest. Consequently I don't always make the most of the learning opportunities and opportunities of enjoying that that particular moment, or rather transition, offers.
So the two interesting occurrences have all to do with driving my car. As mentioned I felt somewhat guilty about not always driving like I think I should. Now what happened was that on friday I was driving and thinking about the fact that I did not want to get into any car accidents. And that I should be more careful about driving. Not more than two minutes later my car is kissing the back of an other car. I was only going 40 KM/H and was fully braking when I say that the car in front of me had come to a full stop. I guess my breaks and tires were not in sound technical condition and while breaking I was just gliding towards the car in front of me. His car undamaged. But the bodywork on my front has a big dent. Nothing major and the guy did not make a big fuzz about it.
And then today I was reminded about the fact that my spare tire was not in my trunk. Some one in the office used it and had not returned it. I knew it was one of those things that I needed to get set but I had not made an effort to solve it yet. And while driving home for my lunch break I was thinking that I'd only had a month and a halve to go here and would assume not having a punctured tire. The moment I got back from my lunch and was about to pull out the parking lot I noticed that my right front tire was flat as an empty balloon.
Fate, the inevitable, punishment, coincidence? All these things automatically run through my head. I've always been skeptical about, well, about many things of which one is superstition. Is there a deeper meaning than just a dented bumper and a flat tire? Is there more to it? Is it a logic consequence of fear being realized since fears inevitably become true when you start focussing on your fears? Is there a Godly plan put in place to teach me something important here? These questions opens whole new spectrum of questions regarding about fate, and Gods involvement in daily mundane life. Any thoughts?
And ofcourse, driemaal scheepsrecht...so what is next?